For the first time in months, I have enough clarity to make the attempt to write something — namely this post. Until you’ve experienced debilitating chronic pain first-hand it’s difficult to comprehend. I know, because I watch the people around me — friends, family, even completely strangers — that have no earthly clue. It’s made this journey a lot lonelier than it had to be, but it’s also made me a stronger, more independent person.
I’m sure the burning question on everyone’s mind is: What’s going on with you now?
To be completely honest, I don’t know yet. My current therapy is a weekly injection called Enbrel. I’m on that for the next three months to see if it’s actually going to stick — unlike every pill therapy we’ve tried before it. It’s difficult for me to plan anything right now because I don’t know if the pain might come back tomorrow. Or a week from now. Or a month. You get the picture.
To that end, I stepped down from my scheduled appearances at Comicpalooza because I want to focus on healing first. I don’t want to meet-and-greet people and fans when my face is covered in psoriasis scales. It’s embarrassing for me and I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for them. I also want to have more to offer potential readers than a self-help book. It’s useful and it’s enjoyable, but people love fiction.
So, when I’m able, I plan on continuing work on Riftwalker Chronicles as well as dusting off Journey of Excalibur. Both are stories that I love and want to finish — that need to be finished, my Muse has spoken. After that, I might delve into some of my old files and do some work with my home-crafted world of Oridosha and resurrect my Tyberan from the verge of fiction extinction. We’ll see!
It was good to finally come up for air. There for a while, I felt like I was drowning in my misery. With everything I’ve been through in the past couple of years it’s hard not to be skeptical of everything, but I’m clinging to hope with everything that I have. I want to be better. I have novels to write!